Major Kabir Singh 01 - "The Great Reshuffle"
Militarization of Clubhouse
Previously in the Brahman Chronicles
Pundit Shinoy made it into the big leagues as Kabir Singh was fading into obscurity after pissing off everyone in the big leagues since everyone found out that their usual clique was running closed rooms where they fat-shamed people, caste-located people, discussed people’s relationships, etc.
Accompanying song to listen to while reading this newsletter.
June 2021
After the big leagues found out the kind of bullshitery Kabir Singh was getting up to behind their backs thanks to a few of the people who were not okay with discussing people’s looks and lives daily, just because they called you out on your double standards of an ideology.
The gatekeepers of information on Clubhouse decided to enforce a blanket ban on Kabir Singh hogging any space discussing identities and politics. Eventually, Kabir Singh also gave up for a bit and went back to just doing closed rooms doing the same things, and just slowly recruiting anyone who would have a falling out with the Gatekeepers of the Old. The list was huge because calling out people was a day job for the majority of people on Clubhouse last summer(as it is mine now).
Disclaimer: Some American citizens would call what Kabir Singh did next “grooming”.
July 2021
Slowly step by step Kabir Singh managed to get a regular group of some fifteen people majority of them were young people in their early 20s, who were trying to figure out their own identity, instead what they got was Vandana’s Panopticon. Where everyone is subjected to rigorous training to hate people unconditionally. Initially, the hate was directed mainly towards Swaty and Akashi because they misgendered Kabir Singh so much that this became necessary. I still haven’t found many incidents to support this allegation but if one feels misgendered, it’s up to them. At best I have seen them just say “arey behen”, “kya bakwas kar rahi hai ladki”, etc. It’s not like they ever provided any evidence of any of it, just words you have to take as the absolute truth.
This targeted hate lead to a temporary paradise where Pundit Shinoy, Pundit Billu, and Pundit Vandana became the best of friends. This lasted for a month and a half.
All sides of this argument were plagued by some innocuous minuscule power trip, everyone wanted to just make sure no one questioned them, this also includes the old gatekeepers. This led to a point where people started to call out people in their circles because nothing else was left on the platform to call out, Savarna people had called out casteist candles, some Savarnas decided to dox baby queers on their Instagram, and some decided to call out people for their liberal languages and being closeted “Sanghis”.
This in turn created the new framework of call-outs that Kabir Singh would use to date, at its core the new framework that Kabir Singh built in their isolation was as simple as, being angry, constantly screaming, and don’t let anyone’s voice be heard over you, give as little information as possible so no one can question you. And extra brownie points if you do it on borrowed trauma.
For the first few times, they did do some good, like the Womb room being trans-exclusionary to name one. But this had an adverse effect on Kabir Singh, They started to look beyond the callout when they realised, that being angry and loud gets you a lot of people in the audience.
This became a mental crutch for Kabir Singh, an internalised reward system for being vile and loud. Kabir Singh started chasing the callouts, finding problems where none existed. During this chase, they also realised the power of identity politics and how having a broader identity gives them more opportunity to be angry.
At this point, Kabir Singh was just limited to closed spaces and was cordial with Pundit Billu, since Pundit Billu was not sure about where they stood concerning the Savarna gatekeepers of the Clubhouse. So they used to lend their support to Kabir Singh to fight against the misgendering they were facing constantly as they claim, So they would constantly go to every room running on Clubhouse, and take notes about what they think is problematic. In the evening these notes would be used in a massive call-out room where you’d be berated straight up for your “problematic behaviour” This ranged from mundane incidents of people using the word “stupid” to you are transphobic.
This became the norm for July 2021, everyone would be sweating when one of their clique would show up and quietly sit in the audience like a hawk, waiting for people to say something problematic. Everyone would tone police themselves to make sure they don’t end up pissing off the Major.
During this period, all of Clubhouse was introduced to Cancel Culture for the first time. Everyone was getting doxed in the name of callouts, and people were threatened about their jobs, for things as small as using the word “stupid”.
Fun Fact: Their stand on this has changed now, now ableism and dropping words like retard is a joke to them.
But since most of the callouts ended up being targeted at the Paan Ki Dukaan, they kept losing their space in the open, since PKD always had a massive following being the Gatekeepers of Information on Clubhouse. The whole queer space was labelled toxic and renamed Cancel Gang because of Kabir Singh. Queer people were kept from spaces because everyone was afraid what if they are with Kabir Singh, the sole representation of queer rights in Clubhouse.
This led to all of Clubhouse from Chai Sutta rooms to political rooms, creating their own safe space so Kabir Singh started getting blocked and kicked. They labelled this transphobic, which again just reflected badly on the movement as a whole. Eventually, for the First Battalion of Kabir Singh, it just boiled down to using alternate accounts to explore the open rooms and then coming from their mains to do the callouts.
As mentioned earlier everyone was out for blood, if people did not do one callout room in a day, they could not sleep, so an average day on Clubhouse would start with a Speak Up India room discussing how BJP is ruining the country then it would progress to Bhang ki dukaan, where everyone would try to bait some Sanghi’s to come up and just end up saying something problematic, and then the whole day would turn into bashing that one person. While some from PKD would be doing this, the Cancel Gang would be sitting in their rooms waiting for them to say something problematic that could bash them for. It was like a weird Ouroboros of Cancel Culture.
This ended up in a weird cycle where both spaces realised fighting this way is giving a constant supply of followers and audience, an audience that is just interested in the banter and vile language and not the callout. So both sides just kept it going without ever actually trying to have a conversation -- they would just throw shit at each other and take it to their Instagrams to shame each other further and then repeat the cycle the next day. If this wasn’t the peak of clout chasing I don’t know what would be.
The way everything was going on at Clubhouse, everyone involved became paranoid to a point, where they ended up being aggressive to their friends because they could not shake the feeling that someone was always out to get them.
In the end, if you could condense it all down to a few words, July of 2021 on Clubhouse was filled with Savarnas fighting on behalf of minority groups and maligning whole movements in the name of some screwed-up justice.
This whole toxic cancel culture phase lasted till the middle of August, which was also the point where things got brighter for Kabir Singh, as the first Great Reshuffle of Clubhouse happened.
The Great Reshuffle
August 2021
On one fine day, PKD was going about their cycle of baiting Sanghis, in some strange turn of events, someone from PKD ended up attacking someone else from PKD thinking they are some Sanghi, while in reality, they were an Enby belonging to a minority group. Eventually, some friends of the “Sanghi” also decided to join the stage and voice their concerns about using a movement to bait Sanghis and how it harms the movement.
PKD did not take kindly to this criticism, that too by a bunch of 20-year-olds. So, in their state of absolute paranoia of fighting Kabir Singh all day, they decided the best course of action would be to bully the kids instead of trying to have a conversation. This led to the PKD stars like Jyo, Swaty, Akashi, Abhineet, etc getting pinged to the room and in classic PKD fashion they just started attacking and yelling at a kid without even taking a breather for context. This lasted for 3 days and they were one of the worst if not the worst incidents of bullying I have seen on this application.
During those 3 days, a new group was formed for the sake of ease we will call them the Turtlenecks. This group included people like Madhurima, Arjun, Raj, Sandeep, etc. These ex-PKD members decided to back their “Sanghi” friend, and in retaliation called out PKD for over 80 days by creating a meme page.
As a response to this PKD decided they will counter callout the Turtlenecks and both sides just decided to mindlessly attack each other on personal levels and the whole bullying of the kid faded away. It became about Madhurima and Sumedha’s partners and failed relationships, Raj S being a liberal fuckboy, Arjun being a fake professor, etc. Similarly, the turtlenecks decided to take the space and attack Akashi’s degree validity, Haani’s speech, etc.
During this period Madhurima went from defending a kid to becoming the most problematic enabler on this platform. From there on, she was on a trip on her own. From Inayat to Kabir Singh, from all-aware Pundit to the Loud Lawyer or the famous podcaster – she has sheltered, enabled, and protected each one of them with an intrepidness that is only similar to mothers.
While all of this was happening within PKD, an isolated Kabir Singh gets a whiff of this drama and decides they should extend their hand in support to the Turtlenecks because the enemy of my enemy is my friend. This singular moment kickstarted the new era of Clubhouse, an era of identity politics, bullying, and cross-platform harassment.
September 2021
This is where Vandana found a great use for the Turtleneck’s meme page, Swami Khatranath, operated by Sandeep Singh. A problematic meme page hiding behind the mask of liberal activism, with the sole goal of making vague memes taking digs at people who try to speak against them. They would snarkily dox people without taking names, make fun of people’s businesses, makes fun of suicide, and when someone asks for accountability they would just say, “it’s a you problem that you think the meme is about you”. As far as I can tell the page is still active and has never been taken down, brilliant platform Instagram.
With this alliance in action, Kabir Singh decides it’s time to make open rooms again and take their space back, so they started with a series of rooms targeting Akashi, comparing her to Hitler, giving made up PhD degrees to people while everyone takes a dig at Akashi, a couple of rooms doxing the identity of Alex, and a few discussing everyone’s life and how sad it is.
Meanwhile, over on Twitter the Turtlenecks and a few of Pundit Billu’s chellas were targeting PKD members over there, especially targeting Alex, to a point where they were constantly making Instagram stories on every tweet Alex made for a good 2 months. This led to Kabir Singh eventually getting in a fight with Poetic because of a screenshot. And that’s where Vandana openly decided to show her casteist self, by constantly harassing anti-caste spaces.
Kabir Singh would constantly run their callout rooms at the same time as anti-caste reading rooms would happen, to divert the crowd. They would constantly schedule rooms with big-ass titles targeting poetic and the room they ran with their savarna friends where they bullied and abused people in the name of educating the masses about the anti-caste movement. And eventually, this created a divide between Pundit Billu and Kabir Singh with Pundit Shinoy deciding to side with Pundit Billu for the time being.
October 2021
Most of the PKD members at this point decided it’s better to just leave this conversation behind because no conversations were taking place, it was plain and simple bullying and assertion of dominance to control the narrative. With this, the great reshuffle ended with a coalition of cancel gang and turtlenecks becoming the new Gatekeepers of Information on Clubhouse in October of 2021.
But this did not stop the bullying and appropriation of identities for personal gains, they would go on to keep bullying the PKD and Pundit Billu’s clique even after getting rid of the big bad “PKD”.
Now Kabir Singh wanted to see the extent of the newfound power they acquired as the new Gatekeeper of Clubhouse. This made them indulge in a bit of information censorship, basically anything wrong they have done in the past before October was a lie spun by PKD or Billu to discredit Kabir Singh, including the fact that they asked me for my caste certificate twice and called me a Nepali who should just comment on their own country’s politics.
The 2nd power they exercised was the control of information, under this Kabir Singh decided to spread lies about people who were outspoken about Kabir Singh’s misdeeds, this included hits like Billu is a groomer, "Legal, dikhaun sabko kya message kiya tune merko", or/and "Billu aur Shinoy ne dysphoria de diya".
During this period, Madhurima shifted her gaze to “mother” Legal Guardian sometime around October last year. From then onwards, her adoration for the Loudest Lawyer of CH has not been hidden from the listeners. But she is smart. She does not scream and shouts and flail her arms in open rooms to attract an audience or attention – instead, she sits in social rooms and closed rooms and sermonizes, where people sit around her all beady-eyed and listen to her enraptured. In these cohorts, she went around and started proclaiming her open support and unending affection for Legal Guardian and similarly problematic people.
November 2021
After the collapse of PKD, a big lot of people on clubhouse remained homeless for a while, eventually, the majority of them got picked up by the cancel gang, this included a particular activist, Som. Som is the same person who was going around clubhouse with a picture of their naked ass and if anyone objected to the nudity they would label them transphobic. That’s how transphobia works apparently. This also included one of my various identities “Ina” that joined the fold briefly for 2 months.
This opened doors of opportunity for Kabir Singh, now Kabir Singh is getting into the trans activism side of things big-time using Som as a token, but this was not enough, so Kabir Singh decided its time to get a faux intellectual on their side, someone who had their ways with words.
Now Kabir Singh is cordial with Pundit Shinoy, teaming up against the new big bad on the block, Pundit Billu. Pundit Shinoy instantly realised how to improve the identity politics bulletproof enough that people are just scared enough to never question you.
December 2021
Quote from the last article.
Now we have to jump back to December of last year, Vandana was having a hard time making their voice heard the same way Som was getting recognised throughout clubhouse, I mean they’ve had their ups and downs but Som has been pretty civil when it comes to discourse and hence they get the respect that is due.
Now Vandana starts with finding some political intersectionality they can use to elevate their identity politics because in their head they probably believed that being enby is not enough for the politics they want to engage in, so they met up with Pundit Shinoy Ji and came up with the borrowed idea of using transexual as an umbrella term for every queer, so congratulations you are now a Trans.
If we had to look at clubhouse in the now, the framework of baseless callouts Major Kabir Singh came up with, is still very valid, people on the platform barely know the actual events that took place, and everyone is living in some kind of fucked up fantasy where Mr. Innocent Kabir Singh is constantly getting attacked for no reason. It’s not like they ever crossed lines and pushed people to a very mentally desolate place.
From the next post(Pt. Shinoy Part 3) onward, we will be getting into dissecting every major incident Jaans were involved in, after that we will do a critical analysis of Major Kabir Singh as a movement, with a short on the Turtleneck members.